We all want our relationships to be happy and stable and cheating definitely breaks hearts. What makes us forget about the person we love and give in to temptation, and why do we cheat on those we love? Looks like scientist have an answer to these burning relationship questions.
According to Dr. Fisher, romantic love is not an emotion, it’s a drive. And this drive is way more powerful than the sexual kind. Just think about it: if somebody refuses to sleep with you, you won’t feel nearly as devastated as you would if the love of your life rejected you. Love, usually when it’s lost or unrequited, has even driven plenty of people to take their own lives.
Dr. Fisher and her colleagues put 32 love-struck people in an MRI brain scanner. Before this, they were asked some questions, the main one being “What percentage of the day and night do you think about this person?” And the answer was often “All day and all night.” These people said that they literally cannot stop thinking about their sweetheart. The last question they were asked was “Would you die for this person?”. And without a shadow of a doubt, all 32 participants of the study said “Yes” as if it was nothing to them.
Our sex drive gets us out there to look for a potential partner, romantic love enables us to focus our mating energy on a certain person, and attachment allows us to tolerate each other, at least long enough to raise offspring together. The surprising part is that we’re capable of “loving” more than one person at a time. You can even lie in bed at night and swing from deep feelings of attachment for one person to deep feelings of romantic love for another. It’s hard to realize and accept all of this, but that’s just how our incredibly complex human brain works.
No matter what you do, you can’t trick somebody into falling in love with you! From a biological perspective, it’s impossible! You either fall for somebody or you don’t, and nobody can change that, not even you. And although we may be biologically inclined to cheat, it’s important to remember that only we can control ourselves.
Pina Colada – Silent Partner
The processes behind love and cheating 0:40
The experiment 2:18
The three brain systems that evolved from mating and reproduction 3:55
What happens when the three systems get messed up 4:52
The outlook 6:07
-According to American anthropologist Helen Fisher, love is when another person becomes the center of your entire universe. With that also comes incredible energy, inner strength, and…extreme jealousy.
-Dr. Fisher and her colleagues put 32 love-struck people in an MRI brain scanner and ran two brain scans: one when they were looking at a picture of their beloved and another when some neutral photo was put before them.
-The three brain systems that evolved from mating and reproduction are sex drive, romantic love, and attachment.
-The situation when you feel deep attachment to one person while having romantic feelings for another and feeling sexually driven towards somebody else entirely is, in fact, very possible.
-Helen Fisher and most other experts in this field are convinced that, despite all of these biological processes, there’s still a certain unexplainable “magic” in love.
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